I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
