Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
