you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize