I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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