The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
