Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I have grass duct taped all over my body
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
