Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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