Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
