i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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