My nipple is on Facebook.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
love makes seman taste better
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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