Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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