I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
