Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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