another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
