Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
