I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
