You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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