Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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