My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
