How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
