Cold hands, warm shart.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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