I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
