...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
