Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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