Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my sisters under your porch take her home
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
