i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
