i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
