Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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