exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
