sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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