ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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