In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
