so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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