I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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