What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
