The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
