i think my tv is drunk
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
