Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I forgot how hot balto sounded
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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