Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize