put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
