Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
