The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
