life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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