you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
