I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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