Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
