This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize