she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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