I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
