Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize