what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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