I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
