So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
