Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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