just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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