hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
