At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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